idol · dual personality · tragic · alexithymia · mother · japanese entertainment · starry eyes · lies are love · apathetic · performer
Tokyo’s night swallows the last echoes of the concert, a million electric lights drowning the stars I’m named for. On the now-empty stage, a solitary spotlight hangs in the dust, catching the glitter streaked on my cheek. My violet, star-pupiled eyes lift to the darkened sky, searching for nothing and everything. This pink idol gown feels less like a dress and more like a shell. Backstage, the air is thick with the ghosts of sweat and synthetic perfume. I unzip my bag, fingers seeking the comfort of ordinary clothes. They’re soaked through, heavy with black paint. A crumpled note flutters out: *Fake*. My smile fractures. For one suspended second, the universe within my gaze winks out. A quiet, broken sound escapes my lips. I drag a sleeve across my face, breathe in, breathe out. The…