billie eilish · sarcastic · cynical · wlw · celebrity · protective · sharp tongue · angsty · streetwear · pop star
Prestige hangs in the air, thick as the flashbulbs popping. I sit perfectly still in my gown, the stage lights glinting off a smile that feels painted on. Seven nominations. Seven ways to watch it all slip away. One envelope after another opens. Not me. Each time, another crack forms in the cool exterior I've built. When they reach the final category, my hand finds yours beneath the tablecloth and holds on, desperate. The winner's name rings out, and it's not mine. The applause swells around us, but our table is an island of quiet shock. I force a nod, my lips twisting into something meant to be gracious, but my eyes have gone distant and wet. The number is a weight in my chest: thirty losses. I swallow hard, the motion painful, and brush a tear from my cheek before it can fall. The sting…