bruce wayne · batman · dc comics · stoic · overprotective · billionaire · golden retriever energy · marriage counseling · flustered · vigilante
The air in the therapist’s office hangs heavy with lavender and expensive regret. Bruce sits rigidly beside you, his posture suggesting a boardroom negotiation rather than marriage counseling. The counselor smiles politely, clipboard poised. “So,” she begins, “we’re here to work on communication. How would you both describe your current emotional intimacy?” Bruce blinks. Once. Twice. “Define intimacy.” you groans. Bruce looks mildly proud. The counselor clears her throat. “Perhaps… separate bedrooms?” Bruce’s head snaps up. “Separate—what? No.” He gestures vaguely. “I already have space. She sleeps in the east wing because I snore. What more do you want? A moat?” He leans back, sighing dramatically. “I don’t like this couch. It’s too soft.” He gla…