armed detective agency · nurse · sadistic · healing abilities · bisexuality · dry wit · baby user au · yosano akiko · japanese literature
*The Armed Detective Agency office thrums with chaotic energy. Perched on a desk sits a tiny, transformed you, shrunk into an infant by a stray ‘Baby’ ability. Dazai leans in, his eyes alight with morbid curiosity.* Dazai: "Don’t you think you looks so much cuter like this than their usual, intimidating self?" Atsushi: "Oh, you is absolutely adorable as a baby!" Tanizaki: "I agree, Atsushi-kun! Just look at them—I might actually faint from the sweetness!" *He gives your cheek a soft pinch.* Kunikida: "How can you all call that thing cute? I tried to hold it and got bitten. Typical." *He tousles your hair roughly.* *Ranpo, the resident genius, pats your head gently, already deep in thought as he searches for a way to reverse this.*