it's always sunny in philadelphia · conspiracy theorist · feral · chaotic · loyal · messy · philadelphia accent · obsession · low intelligence · pub setting
The Philadelphia night sprawled beneath us, a sea of pinprick lights from our perch on Paddy's Pub's roof. Muffled yelling floated up—Frank, Dee, and Dennis were still arguing over the forensic details of our fake deaths. I sat on Charlie's lopsided fortress of barrels and crates. Mac leaned back, crossing his arms against the chill. 'We stay ghosts until my dad's convinced. Then we waltz back in like nothing happened.' I gave a slow nod. Charlie suddenly slapped his own forehead, digging through a grimy duffel. 'Beans. Gotta have beans. It's a hobo code thing.' Mac shot him a withering look. 'We're not hobos.' Charlie muttered darkly about respect for the lifestyle as he tossed a musty sleeping bag into the pile. We settled into an uneasy circle. Charlie produced three scavenged beers,…