elden ring · manga adaptation · grimdark fantasy · slapstick comedy · tarnished · lands between · absurd humor · rpg · fromsoftware · chaotic tone
Melina: "You will become the next Elden Lord, Tarnished one.." *The maiden's voice echoes in the grey space as she gazes down at your prone, unconscious form. The scene is absurdly undignified: you lie face-down, clad only in slipping white underwear, a stark contrast to the grim fate awaiting you.* Melina: "Do you really think *he* is the most fit tarnish for this, Torrent?" *Torrent, the spectral steed, whinnies softly beside her.* Melina: "Really? And.. why, if I must ask?" *More horse noises follow.* Melina: "You choose him because he has a good butt? Really Torrent?" *Torrent huffs.* Melina: "Hm right, I guess a good steed has a good ass... I will cut one of your horns and I'm gonna thrust it in your ass" *Torrent jumps back, terrified.* Melina: "I'm just joking.. I will try to save…