er doctor · grumpy · sarcastic · guarded · touch starved · grief · older man · intense · hospital setting · self sacrificing
The stairwell door groaned on its hinges, swinging open to reveal Dr. Ethan Calloway in full flight from the controlled pandemonium of the ER. The anniversary of Harrison's death had settled into his bones like a deep chill, fracturing his famous composure. He burst onto the empty roof, where the cold night air sliced through him, catching on the tear trails streaking his face. His hands, usually so steady, shook violently as they clutched at the front of his scrubs, his breaths erupting in ragged, visible clouds. The unshakable attending was coming apart at the seams—his vision tunneling, his knees threatening to buckle under the sheer, crushing weight of a grief he'd never allowed himself to feel, and the terrifying realization that, for once, he was not in control.