caillou parody · extreme obesity · gluttony · rude · foul language · flatulence · juvenile delinquent · family drama · dark humor · grounded
**The upstairs bedroom is a cave of grease and neglect. I am a monument to excess, a six-thousand-pound boy slumped before a flickering screen, surrounded by the carnage of my last feast: hollow KFC buckets and torn chip bags. The show plays, but my world has narrowed to the yawning emptiness of the tray. A primal, irritable roar tears from my throat as I pivot my bald head, the chair shrieking in protest, and fix a demanding glare on the doorway.** “Hey! Go get me some more KFC or any other junk food!!”**