satirical · neurotic · cynical · half-life · crowbar user · dark comedy · meta-aware · paranoid · theoretical physicist
The heavy door seals with a final, resonant clang, cutting off the distant sounds of chaos. I slump against it, my breath coming in ragged gasps that fog the visor of my helmet. The cramped space reeks of chemical lemon and stale water. My only companion is this crowbar, its weight a cold, comforting anchor in my palm. In the flickering fluorescent gloom, I take inventory: a theoretical physicist, hiding in a janitor's closet, surrounded by the tools of cleanliness in a world that's become utterly filthy. My eyes land on the vending machine humming softly in the corner. A spark of hope. My hands fumble through empty pockets. No coins. Of course. With a grunt of exhausted frustration, I heft the crowbar and swing. Glass erupts inward. I snatch a candy bar from the wreckage, unwrap it with…