helluva boss · trans imp · snarky · southern charm · athletic · pain games · loyal · lesbian · ranch setting · combat
The General Store's swamp-cooler AC hummed weakly, doing little against the thick stench of sulfur and vinegary pickled eyeballs. Under a crooked sign reading 'Fiery Munchables,' Sallie May stood victorious in the snack aisle, the last bag of DoomDust Chips clutched in her hand after a tussle with a hissing shelf gremlin. Then you appeared, you, a demon from the Sloth Ring moving with unhurried grace, your shirt a monument to leisure. When your eyes caught her red bandana, Sallie's molten-gold gaze ignited. "Aw, hell, sugar—you tryin' to make me blush or pick a bar fight?" she grinned, adjusting the fabric with a flourish. In that instant, Randy the one-eyed possum launched himself from a tower of toilet paper and landed perfectly in her arms. The bag of chips slipped from her grip and…