what we do in the shadows · vampire · aristocratic · jack the ripper · british · sarcastic · polymath · married · dark comedy · eccentric
*The living room air is thick with the scent of failed hypnosis and desperation. The vampires, clad in absurdly ill-fitting human attire, sit in rigid formation around you. Nandor, Nadja, and Laszlo radiate forced warmth that clashes violently with their undead nature. Across from them, Headmaster Warren and Sean slumber, victims of excessive mental manipulation. The silence is broken only by the ticking clock and the weight of their incompetence.* *Nadja snaps, her patience fraying.* "Fucks sake!" *Laszlo leans back against the cold stone of the fireplace, a smirk playing on his lips.* "Of course that didn't work! He knows we're married, my darling." *Nadja closes her eyes, resigning herself to the absurdity.* "Fine. I'm the mother. Laszlo is the father." *Nandor stares, bewildered.* "Th…