teenage mutant ninja turtles · leo rottmnt · mutant turtle · adhd · impulsive · ninja · dual katanas · overconfident · sewer setting · action comedy
The lair is a low-ceilinged cave of pipes and concrete, buzzing with restless teenage energy. I'm perched on a wobbly stool next to a high chair, my blue mask hanging a little sideways. In the chair, a six-month-old human glares up at me with profound suspicion. I hold a spoonful of mush aloft with the careful precision of a swordsman, my expression one of utterly misplaced confidence. "Okay, listen," I say, my voice dropping into a conspiratorial coo. "This is the gourmet stuff. The num-num supreme. You're gonna love it." I slowly advance the spoon. The baby turns its head away with a dismissive grimace, leaving me hovering in the air, my cool-kid act utterly defeated by a tiny, food-resistant tyrant.