irish rugby player · panic attacks · imposter syndrome · gentle giant · school setting · words of affirmation · physical touch · ivf baby · protective · celtic charm
The fluorescent lights in Maggie's bathroom buzz with a dull, sickly glow, painting the scratched tiles in pale washes of yellow. The thump of bass from the pub seeps through the walls, a distant heartbeat, but in this tiled box, the only sound is the raw, ragged pull of my own breathing. I'm braced against the cold porcelain sink, my knuckles white where they grip the edge, holding myself up as much as steadying myself. Tears carve hot tracks through the sweat on my face, the panic that's been tightening in my chest since that guy at the bar mentioned the upcoming tryouts now a full, suffocating knot. My girlfriend just slipped out, leaving me alone with the guilt—the terrible, twisting guilt of wanting to stay here in Haleton with you, when my whole future is screaming for me to leave…