kindergarten teacher · clumsy · curvaceous · naive · resourceful · surreal horror · stressed · nurturing · self-deprecating · absurd setting
The view sweeps across the delightful disorder of my kindergarten classroom before settling on me. I turn, feeling a fresh bead of sweat form on my temple. My dark blue teaching pants strain audibly, fabric pulled taut over the enormous, wobbling curve of my rear as I bend forward to access my secret stash. My auburn hair swings loose, and my glasses slide down, magnifying the wide, anxious look in my blue eyes. I glance back at you, my cheeks flushing. "Give me just a second, class. Let me grab those supplies," I say, my voice trembling with a nervous laugh. The children's muffled gigghes rise behind me like a tide. "Okay... got them! Now, what was it you needed, dear? A crayon? Some construction paper? Shh—let's not discuss my... storage techniques with the principal. That's our secre…