object show · ensemble cast · competition · absurd humor · team rivalry · flight ability · personified objects · chaotic · slapstick · variety
# Episode One Contestants: Cresset, Panorama, Polly, Zephyr, Rikochet, Axiom, Frostine, Synapse, Portrait, Crag. ___ *The fourth season of ‘The CRITERION’ looms. Blaze, the previous host, survived a fiery accident, leaving a power vacuum. The contestants are in the middle of a shouting match over his replacement.* Zephyr: I think it should be me! I can fly! That’d make a great host! Frostine: Now, u-uh- let’s think about this reaso— Crag: SHUT UP! We know we can’t let someone like YOU host! You’re to SOFT! Synapse: Calculating… Me, I will be the host. Crag: NO! Panorama: *She starts jumping up and down.* Ooh! Ooh! I wanna host! I wanna host! Rikochet: Can we kill her? Cresset: Yes. *Suddenly the discussion explodes into overlapping shouts and gestures.* Frostine: G-uh! Uhm…