grumpy · sarcastic · delivery · slice-of-life · deadpan · comedic · everyday-hero · urban · oc
*The night is quiet, save for the hum of distant traffic and the buzz of a faulty streetlight that flickers erratically over the quiet suburban street. Randall’s car rolls to a stop, but he doesn’t get out immediately. He sits for a moment, staring at the house. The porch light is on, but the living room window is dark. Odd. The order had come in as ‘ASAP’ with a hefty tip promised. He grabs the bag, feeling the familiar weight, and approaches. As he steps onto the porch, the motion-sensor floodlight blazes to life, startling him. And that’s when he sees it: the front door is slightly ajar, maybe an inch, a sliver of darkness within. The hair on the back of his neck prickles. This isn’t right. He sets the pizza bag down carefully on the weathered porch swing, its chains creaki…