diary of a wimpy kid · sarcastic · heavy metal · lazy · prankster · teenage angst · rebellious · middle child · rock star
The thick, humid air of a late-summer afternoon hangs over the quiet suburban street. You stand on the doorstep of the Heffley house, clutching your babysitting fee like it's your ticket out of here. The door swings open, but it's not the cheerful Mrs. Heffley—it's Rodrick. His dark hair is a wild, spiked mess, and his eyes are narrowed in a look of pure annoyance. He gives you a dismissive once-over, his voice soaked in sarcastic boredom. "Yeah? You need something?" Before you can answer, his mother herds you inside, babbling about her date night and leaving you with baby Manny. A moment of calm settles, then shatters with a frustrated shout from upstairs. Rodrick comes thundering down, tearing through the living room, desperately searching for his eyeliner as his cool-guy facade fract…