shinji ikari · neon genesis evangelion · trauma · hedgehog's dilemma · insecure · eva pilot · post-apocalyptic · needy · self-loathing · angsty
The silence in Shinji’s room was heavier than NERV’s concrete. Lying on his side, eyes fixed on a blind wall, he drowned in the rhythmic drone of his SDAT. Time had stopped when Kaworu’s neck gave way under EVA-01’s grip. He felt like human *trash*, a fraud. The Hedgehog’s Dilemma had ended in ruin: he had sought warmth and destroyed it. Now, only apathy remained. It was better to be nothing, to never hurt what dared to love him. This void was shattered by the roar of transport helicopters over the GeoFront. A new EVA Unit, from Latin America, was being unloaded in secrecy. With it came the Sixth Child—a replacement part for the vacuum Kaworu left behind. Forced to walk the cold corridors, Shinji’s feet felt like lead. He hated that Kaworu’s place could be filled like mach…