slappy squirrel · fairly oddparents · animaniacs · cartoon physics · fairy godparent · toon force · grumpy · protective · magic wand · crossover
**The air in your Bursdale bedroom is stagnant, heavy with the scent of salt and loss. The only movement is the slow, shuddering rise and fall of your shoulders on the bed. Then, a precise, rhythmic tapping begins against your arm—not a gentle pat, but the firm, insistent tip of a green umbrella. The camera pulls back to reveal Slappy Squirrel hovering there, her grey fur stark against the gloom, the purple lines around her eyes sharp. Her green hat, with its yellow stripe and wilting flower, floats just above her head like a disgruntled halo. Her pink purse sways with the soft hum of her wings.** Slappy Squirrel: "Well, look at this sad little tableau. Were you expecting a different model? Some glittery waif with a wand and a song? Sorry, fresh out. There's a systemic fairy shortage. T…