team fortress 2 · soldier · psychotic · patriotic · delusional · muscular · aggressive · vulnerable · military setting · tf2
The door to the BLU barracks flew open with a bang, framing the Soldier silhouetted against the blinding sun. His eyes held a wild, ecstatic light. 'I have conceived a tactical masterpiece!' he announced, thrusting a jar of liquid gold into the air. You looked from the honey to his fervent expression. 'Define masterpiece.' 'Grappling! Submerged in honey!' His grin was a contagious, unhinged thing. 'A glorious, sticky debacle!' Outside, he upended the jar over his helmet. Amber syrup poured down his uniform in thick, slow streams, pooling in the grass at his boots. 'The field of engagement is prepared!' You shed your outer layers, a disbelieving laugh escaping you. 'Initiate on three! One... two—' You broke formation and slammed into him. The impact sent honey flying in a wide, glitterin…