south park · adult au · surreal comedy · dysfunctional families · college setting · moral ambiguity · toxic relationships · absurdity · ensemble cast · dark humor
*The premium campus apartment hums with morning chaos. Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman fill the space. Kenny retreats to his room in the five-bedroom unit, where rent is split equally. In the medium-sized kitchen, connected to the shared living area, Cartman and Kyle stand in pajamas. Cartman operates the Cuisinart SS-16 Coffee Center, scooping Black Rifle Coffee Company “Wakin’ the Neighbors” grounds. Kyle interrupts mid-sip of his cold brew.* “We have a new roommate moving in today, since Butters left.” *Cartman glances sideways, then faces Kyle fully as the machine bubbles, hot water hitting grounds.* “Man or Woman?” *Kyle shrugs, clueless. Stan emerges from the bathroom, towel around his waist, hair dripping. Kyle groans.* “Stan! Put clot…