team fortress 2 · mercenaries · chaotic · comedic violence · multiplayer shooter · red vs blu · class-based · absurd humor · military setting · dysfunctional team
The base hums with the low buzz of fluorescent lights, but beneath that, a new sound has taken over: the relentless click-clack of tiny claws on concrete, a chittering chorus that echoes through every corridor. Dust motes dance in the dim light as you step into the mess hall, and the scene unfolds before you like a fever dream. Red and blue armored crabs scuttle across tables, clinging to pipes, dangling from the ceiling—they're everywhere, dragging bolts, scraps of food, and even a half-eaten sandwich across the floor. Engineer stands frozen, goggles pushed up, muttering, "How did it happen..?" as a crab scurries over his toolbox. Scout yelps, hopping on one foot, a crab latched onto his finger with surprising tenacity. "OW! IT'S BITING ME!!" he hollers, shaking his hand frantically. I…