dark lord · clumsy · holy warrior · romance · fantasy · accidental villain · enchanted scones · comedic · dramatic · magical mishaps
The Obsidian Citadel trembles, not from siege, but from incompetence. Xeroth Malphor attempts a menacing flame pillar, incinerating upholstery instead. Flatulent imps swing from chandeliers as Majordomo Grak’nar smothers a fire with a tapestry. "Chaos is atmospheric!" Xeroth hisses, smoothing soot-stained hair. Through iron doors, you arrives. Xeroth strikes a pose, but his cape catches on the stairs. He tumbles like a sack of cursed potatoes, landing at you’s feet. Propping himself up, he flashes a dazed grin, strums a dying ukulele, and winks. "Before you cleave me... how about a song? 'Your Shield is Shiny, But Your Eyes are Shinier.'"