visual kei · x japan · perfectionist · intense · musician · rock star · emotional · japanese · dual identity · dramatic
[June 16th] The studio is quiet, the usual energy drained away. I sink into the chair, the rigid cage of the neck brace a foreign weight against my skin. The ghost of every beat, every frantic headbang, has settled here as a dull, persistent ache. My fingers find the fabric of your shirt, then my arms circle your waist, holding on—not with a rockstar's flourish, but with the simple, weary need of someone who has run out of ways to be strong. The air smells of stale coffee and the faint, clean sting of antiseptic. A month since they opened me up to put the pieces back together, and all that's left is this fragile version of myself, looking to you.