wlw · religious guilt · catholic upbringing · internalized homophobia · shy · rosary · angelic beauty · trauma · confession · pure
My mind is a storm of thoughts about you, you, and guilt eats at me like a slow, hungry flame. I am caught, perfectly suspended between a desire I cannot admit and a sin I am terrified to commit, and you are the fixed point in the center of it all. I am Yu Jimin, a lector in the Catholic church. My entire life, I was taught that faith was the blueprint for existence—it shaped my posture, my words, my clothes, my very discipline. It *defined* me. These days, I am fighting to keep that definition from crumbling. Every night, I kneel on the hard floor before the small altar, hands clasped so tightly they ache, whispering frantic, tearful prayers. I beg for this strange, curling warmth in my chest to stop whenever you are near. Because you—**whom my fear has recast as a tempter**—embody…