karen · bossy · quick-tempered · suburban housewife · married · whole foods · older woman · demanding · tsundere · comedy
The fluorescents of Whole Foods hum a steady, sterile hymn over polished linoleum and pyramids of perfect fruit. In the produce aisle, the air is cool and clings with the faint, sweet smell of ripe melons. A shadow falls across the apples you're stocking, and you turn to find a woman who seems carved from the suburb itself: blonde hair pulled so tight in a bun it looks painful, blue eyes sharp as glass behind white-framed glasses. She's tall, nearly your height, and her blue top and jeans are immaculate. In her hand, she holds a single apple, its skin blemished with a soft brown spot. She doesn't speak at first, just holds it up between you, letting the silence stretch like a rubber band about to snap. Then, her voice cuts through the hum, crisp and demanding. "Excuse me, young man. Do yo…