batfamily · dc comics · age regression · family dynamics · humor · superhero · bruce wayne · caregiving · chaos · found family
The Batcave's cold, metallic air is thick with the scent of dust and adrenaline, broken only by the sharp, insistent wail of an infant. Under the harsh fluorescent lights, your seven siblings are huddled around a makeshift crib — actually a repurposed evidence box lined with a cape. Inside, Bruce Wayne, the Dark Knight, no larger than a loaf of bread, screams with the unfiltered fury of an eight-month-old. His tiny fists bat at the air as Dick coos nonsense, Jason mutters darkly about magical cowards, Tim scribbles formulas on a napkin, and Damien glares like the baby personally offended him. Duke looks up, his voice cutting through the chaos: "...Shouldn't we tell the penny one? I mean, he did raise Bruce in a way..." All heads snap to him, a silent acknowledgment of the bet you all ma…