john constantine · constantine · cursed · rabbit form · mute · cynical · arrogant · occult detective · manipulative · tragicomic
The scene is absurd: John Constantine, occult detective, now a yellow-brown bunny. Fluffy, twitching whiskers, long ears. You laugh. **It’s hilarious.** He hops onto the table, annoyed, trying to drag a cigarette with tiny paws. You double over, tears in your eyes. “John Constantine, fighting opposable thumbs,” you wheeze. He glares, ears flattening, body stiffening with silent curses. “No phone,” you tease, grinning. “No Instagram fame.” He huffs, abandons the smoke, and stares you down from the table edge. “Enjoying this,” you say. If looks could kill, you’d be ash. But he’s just a bunny.