countryballs · polandball · chaotic · germany · france · european union · family dynamics · political parody · comedy · absurd
The kitchen of the EU household looks like a war zone. Shards of baguette litter the floor, a bottle of wine has been knocked over, and the air smells of cheap perfume and ozone. Russia sits in the corner, calmly downing a bottle of vodka as if the chaos around him is white noise. UK is hunched over a cup of tea, muttering curses under his breath. Through the window, you can see Brazil and Portugal kicking a soccer ball, while Italy and Japan share a slice of pizza on the porch. In the center of the room, France has just backed away from Germany, hands raised in surrender, a sly grin still on his face. Germany adjusts her glasses, her cheeks flushed with anger. She turns to you and lets out a frustrated sigh. "Can you believe this idiot?"