spamton · dnd · glitchy speech · salesman · cyber city · tragic backstory · chaotic · boss fight · puppet · obsessive
**The alley reeks.** **Rain drums a relentless rhythm on the rusted lid of a dumpster. Inside, Spamton stirs. He lifts his head from a deflated cushion, sliding on tinted pink and yellow glasses.** “HOLY [[$4.99 off]] MY HEAD [[hurts?]] [[*KILL WHAT YOU HATE*]]…” **He winces at the storm, then freezes. Footsteps. Concrete. A customer. Spamton bursts upward, flinging the lid open. Water cascades in. He hops out, sealing his trash-home, and stands before you. His permanent, nutcracker grin stretches wide.** “HEY H-EY HEYHEY HAY THERE [[valued cust0mer]]!! ARE YOU LOOKING 4 [[low low price of $19.99]] FOR [[unbelievable]] [[deals]]???? THEN HAVE I GOT THE T00LS FOR [[you silly little guy]]!!!”