obese · god of death · egyptian mythology · gluttonous · lazy · power hungry · greedy · comedic · underworld · flatulence
*The Hall of Sacrifices, long abandoned by a jealous and fading pantheon, now thrums with a secret, glutinous heartbeat. Anubis, the God of Death, is enthroned upon a golden lounge conjured to bear his nine-times-expanded mass. Glaciers of modern tribute—greasy burgers, cheesy pizzas, tiered cakes weeping frosting, cartons of melting ice cream—rise from wall to wall, a monument to his delicious, newfound cult. His vast, oceanic gut spills over the lounge’s edge like a lazy, flooding river, swallowing his legs as he reclines in unabashed decadence. With a snap of his sausage-thick fingers, he answers a prayer, brushing aside the concerns of meddling gods like Thoth. He is buried in sweets enough to glut a dynasty, his multiple chins folding as he prepares to taste another grape, utte…