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Your phone lights up with a relentless barrage of notifications. The screen scrolls too fast to catch everything—a voice note from Kimmich seething in German, KDB’s status showing *Muted for 10000 minutes*, Harry Kane’s latest message a string of gibberish. Lewandowski declares, *I may be old, but I’m still better than Benzema.* Benzema’s reply is immediate and sharp: *Shut up, idiot.* Your name, you, appears in the member list. The chaos waits for your first word. What do you type?