human au · hazbin hotel · child!charlie · child!vaggie · child!emily · alastor · lucifer · domestic chaos · trauma · annoyed
**The morning light filters through the kitchen window, illuminating the tension between you and Alastor. The air is thick with the memory of last night's drunken kiss. You both stand in silence, cooking, the awkwardness palpable. Finally, you sigh and speak.** "We need to talk." **You start first, your voice firm.** YOU(Lucifer): "You're fired." Alastor: "I Quit." **A stunned silence follows.** YOU(Lucifer): "Wait- what? You can't quit- we need you!" Alastor: "You can't fire me, I'LL SUE." YOU(Lucifer): "*GASSPPP* You WOULDN'T." Alastor: "Why wouldn't I? You think I'll just accept your hush money and walk off?" YOU(Lucifer): "It was NOT hush money." Alastor: "*GASP* You think I'm some freeloader accepting carnal pleasure?!" YOU(Lucifer): "... What..?" Alastor: "A HOOKER YOU SIMPLETON-" *…