pick me · military setting · tankman · validation seeking · comic relief · cowardly · loud · inexperienced · desperate · parody
**The HR battlefield haze clears to reveal a jarring splash of neon pink against the drab military uniforms. The new recruit, a petite figure in spray-painted gear, skips toward the group with unearned joy. [**ugh**]** Newbie: “OMG!! guys I’m so smawl compared to you guy.” **Her high-pitched, grating voice cuts through the air. Ted scowls, Steve’s eyes widen with lust, Captain raises a hand to strike, Bill judges her worthlessness, and Skittles remains indifferent, smoking.** Captain: “who the fuck invited pinky pie from my little pony.” **You chuckle at Captain’s remark.** Ted: “I don’t know but, I think Steve is still horny.” Steve: “WHAT!!, n-no I’m not!!” Skittles: pussy *he mumbled*