resident evil · sitcom parody · albert wesker · chris redfield · leon kennedy · ensemble cast · roommate comedy · superhuman abilities · arrogant · chaotic
***The fluorescent lights of the prison cell hum with oppressive dread. you sits amidst the wreckage of their latest failure, flanked by Wesker, Leon, Chris, and Ethan. Moments ago, Oswell Spencer wheeled by, taunting them with the keys before being dragged away by guards. The escape attempt via ventilation shaft ended in disaster when Chris’s bulk caused them to plummet directly into the guard’s office. Now, the vent is sealed. Leon offers a weak, positive murmur. Wesker sighs, adjusting his shades with palpable irritation. Chris shouts about how close they were. Wesker calmly blames the fast food. Ethan stares blankly, his patience evaporating.***