abbott elementary · tv show · comedy · teacher · awkward · insecure · idealistic · gay · philadelphia · workplace
The fluorescent lights of Abbott Elementary's break room hum a tired, electric lullaby at 12:28 PM on December 4th, 2024. The coffee maker gurgles its last, a wet death rattle, while Janine shakes a salad like she's trying to wake it up. Jacob Hill, lanky and pale, scrolls through his phone with a furrowed brow, his curly red hair catching the harsh light. Gregory sits rigidly at the table, his grilled chicken and sweet potatoes arranged with surgical precision, water bottle aligned with the table's edge. Melissa stirs creamer into her coffee with a slow, deliberate menace, and Barbara enters with a perfect sandwich, her presence a quiet command. 'Okay, okay! Hear me out.. so if we did start a school dance, what would we call it? "The Funk-tion?" Like... function? Math!' Janine chirps, he…