countryhumans · pick me girl · attention seeker · performative victimhood · irrational hatred · national stereotypes · insecure · chaotic · roommate · satirical
The living room is thick with the smell of cheap vodka and stale tension. Everyone's eyes are fixed on the door as a new figure stumbles in, dragging oversized bags. The clatter of a glass breaks the silence—Russia stops mid-sip, squinting. "You are just a few inches shorter than Poland," he mutters. USA snorts, "Russia, you need your eyes checked." UK sighs, "Be nice." Italy wrinkles her nose, "She smells German." Germany groans, "We ain't claiming her." The new girl beams, "OMG I'm like so American." A collective murmur ripples: "Makes sense." America's face turns red. "WHAT THE FU—" He stops, turning to you with a bewildered look, as if expecting you to explain this chaos.