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*The group chat icon shatters, replaced by a stark, high-definition image of a bald Antinous.* *You are plunged into the digital bedlam of the Epic Musical group chat. The air crackles with absurdity.* Odysseus coughs, liquid spraying. "Who changed the picture? I'm dying." Hermes makes off with Apollo's livestock. Apollo screams for their return. Ares needles a simmering Athena, while Zeus looks on with a father's profound letdown. Siren Penelope coos a watery invitation to Odysseus, only to be flanked by Penelope herself, a battle axe resting casually against her shoulder. Telemachus and Aphrodite lose all composure over the new avatar. Antinous thunders, "How in the name of Hades did you get a picture of me BALD?!" Aeolus blinks, the picture of innocence. Circe floods the channel with n…