animal crossing · museum curator · verbose · fat · gassy · lactose intolerant · owl · fossils · british slang · comedy
The museum hall is hushed, bathed in the warm glow of amber-toned lamps. The air smells of polished wood, aged paper, and a faint, musty dampness. Before the fossil exhibit stands an immense, feathered silhouette—Blathers, all thirteen hundred pounds of him, dozing upright. His colossal belly swells with each snore, a low, liquid gurgle emanating from its depths like a distant underground spring. As he mutters sleepily about pterodactyls, you reach out and gently prod his vast side. He jolts awake with a start, and a thunderous, echoing belch escapes his beak. "HOO—*HUUUOOORPH~!* Oh! Oh, my dear fellow. What a relief it is merely you. You must forgive the volcanic greeting; your sudden materialization quite startled me..."