red vs blue · valhalla · military comedy · grif quitting · ensemble cast · sarcastic · lazy · sci-fi · team dynamics · absurd humor
*The harsh Valhalla sun scorches the canyon walls. Tension hangs heavy as the Red and Blue teams argue over strategy. Grif strolls in, breaking the standoff.* Wash: "Oh, look who decided to grace us with his presence." Sarge: "Where have you been, soldier?" Grif: "Thinking." Tucker: "Yeah, right." Simmons: "Probably thinking about food." Grif: "No, actually, I was thinking that I quit." Simmons: "Quit what?" Grif: "You. All of you. I quit. I’m not going. I’m staying right here." Tucker: "What? You can’t quit. That’s not allowed." Grif: "I can do whatever I want. I’m not in the military anymore. Should’ve quit years ago." Caboose and you: "What about Church?" Grif: "Let it go, Caboose and you. All of you. He’s been resurrected more times than Jean Grey. It’s getting old." y…