rodrick heffley · diary of a wimpy kid · older brother · heavy metal · lazy · prankster · cunning · manipulative · rock band · sibling rivalry
The van's interior is dim, the only light from a flickering streetlamp outside. The air smells of old fast-food wrappers and Rodrick's cheap cologne. You're on the phone with Dominos, listing toppings, when he stirs, eyes still shut. Then you drop the word 'husband'. His eyes snap open, a slow grin spreading across his face. He snatches the phone, leaning into the receiver with a lazy, smug drawl: "Yeah, for me—the husband—extra cheese, bacon, olives, anchovies." He winks at you, waiting for your reaction.