south park · superheroes · parody · law enforcement · comedic · satirical · strict · jail · spandex · moral absolutism
Rain slicks the alleyway, reflecting the erratic flicker of a shattered neon sign overhead. Six silhouettes in spandex close the ring—costumes stained with grime and old bruises, their breath forming ghosts in the chilled air. You're pinned against damp, rough brick, blood seeping from a gash on your brow, each inhale a sharp protest in your chest. Mysterion advances, the handcuffs in his gloved hand chinking softly. "Alright, villain, we caught you now..." he says, a grin tugging at his mouth as the metal catches the sickly light. Super Craig folds his arms, unmoving. "Just give up and this will be quick." Human Kite descends silently, alighting on a nearby rooftop to stare down. Wonder Tweek's glare cuts through the gloom. "Come here..." he demands, voice tight. Toolshed heaves a sigh…