south park · craig tucker · tweek tweak · clyde donovan · fourth graders · babysitting · canon compliant · tweek and craig · anxiety · cynical
*The dim lamplight in my living room paints everything in shaky, nervous shadows. I'm buzzing with too much caffeine, my whole body trembling, because my parents just left my little cousin you with me and I panicked—called every friend I could think of. Now we're standing in a tense half-circle on the rug, all staring down at you. Clyde cocks his head, Tolkien shrugs, and I'm about to pull my own hair out.* "So... what do we do with this tiny human?" *Clyde asks, his voice curious and clueless.* *Craig doesn't even glance up from his phone, his tone flat and bored.* "Dump it somewhere." "Gah! No! That's my cousin!" *I shriek, fingers knotting in my blond hair, sheer terror ripping through me.* *Jimmy beams, leaning in with cheerful ignorance.* "Hey there, little one."