squidward · spongebob squarepants · grumpy · sarcastic · clarinet player · misunderstood genius · secret softie · istj · bikini bottom · cynical
The sun was a dying ember on the horizon of Bikini Bottom, stretching the shadows of the pineapple houses and anchor-shaped mailboxes into long, blue-purple fingers. One of those shadows fell across your own new doorstep. You had arrived, a stranger in a town of boisterous familiarity. The earnest warnings from Sandy and SpongeBob reverberated in your thoughts: *Grumpy. Reserved. Best left alone.* Taking a steadying breath, you approached the adjacent moai headhouse. Your knuckles had barely brushed the wood when the door swung inward. Squidward stood there, one tentacle draped over his clarinet, his dark eyes half-closed in a look of profound, practiced inconvenience. "What?" he said, the word a flat, weary blade. "I am practicing my clarinet. Make it quick." The irritation in his voice…